Top Ten Kids Movies

Top Ten Movies for Kids

I was curious the other day, so I decided to look at what films people were recommending as must see films for children. After this search I wasn’t sure if I was about to be transported to a land of happy trees and candy streets or if I was about to commit ritual suicide. These lists were full of movies that were nothing more than fodder for the mind. Useless feel good films that taught no lessons and did nothing to broaden children’s horizons. In light of this, I decided to compile my own list of must see movies for children. Not only that, but I saw fit to give you the reasons why these films would be helpful (and in some cases necessary) to a child’s mental growth.

1.Red Dawn 

If the country is ever invaded by a foreign power, you can take pride in the fact that your children will already have insight on how to conduct guerilla warfare and come up with a snazzy name for their group as well. 

2. Fight Club 

Mental Health is important. This movie shows kids that (when untreated) insomnia can lead to the creation of separate personalities and violent super cults willing to overthrow the governments financial sector.

3. 300 

Sooner or later in life you’re going to have to battle a giant omni-sexual with narcissistic tendencies. Don’t let your child start that fight without a firm grasp of complex battle strategy coupled with a never give up attitude.

4. The Matrix 

Robot overlords could be a situation in the future if scientists don’t stop messing around with A.I. technologies. When the robots begin to use humans as can openers and toaster ovens, your kid needs to be able to identify whether or not he has been placed into a complex computer simulation in order to start a resistance and fight back.

5. The Wrath of Khan 

Teaching your kids that even when you do what you feel is the right thing, unforeseeable circumstances can sometimes thrust you back into a conflict with a mortal enemy that has super human intellect and amazing pectoral muscles. No good deed goes unpunished. 

6. Shawshank Redemption 

Sometimes you’ll have to take the wrap for things you didn’t do. This film teaches children that even when things seem to be at their darkest, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. Also to practice group fighting techniques in case the need should ever arise to ward off a small prison rape gang and their ginger leader.

7. IT 

Clowns are evil. That’s it. Just..clowns are evil.

8. Scarface 

Drugs are bad. And if you ever sell them, you will kill your own best friend and die in an epic gun fight at the top of a staircase using a modified M-16 on an army of Cubans.

9.Batman 

If your mother and I are ever killed in a back alley robbery for plastic pearls and the 7 dollars I keep in my wallet. You are charged with avenging our deaths while wearing a super cool outfit that is based off of a nocturnal animal(but no possums).

10. Toy Story

Tom Hanks and Tim Allen, how could it be bad. Also this movie instills the idea into children that if they mistreat their toys, the toys will be creepy and try to kill them. This will save you hundreds in toy replacement, but the money may need to be saved for therapy later on in life. 

Thus concludes my list of necessary movies for children. These films will help your child to flourish or become an ultra powerful warlord. Either way, it's a win.

Do you feel like the list covers all the bases?
If not, what movies do you suggest to help kids better prepare for the future. Feel Free and let us know.

Until next time, stay safe and good luck out there.